Honest Work

I was quite titillated the other day to read about the academic study of fertility risk to elite cycling athletes. So let's get this straight: someone got paid to study the sexual function of athletes with fabulous legs? All in the name of science?

Where do I sign up? I'm sure my skills in the sample collection service shall not be wasted. I might charge extra for fluffing. Then again, I might not. :->

Brought to you from the Department of How The Fuck Did They Get Funding For That?

Wobin and the Gweeks

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've had a wonderful week's holiday. Not in sunny Mediterranean Gweace but around Devon and Cornwall with The Husband and a couple of friends. As you can see from my photo to the right, we did indeed visit the small Cornish town of Gweek. :-)

Each day we would set our satellite navigation system with the day's destination and a few diversions and then be on our merry way down the occasional A-road, lots of B-roads and a whole lot of crazy single lane country roads with narrow sidings. Since there were four of us we travelled by car but I longed to be taking in the country roads on dragonback. Just as soon as I have a free weekend, I'm heading down to the New Forest for some fun on my bike.

The highlights of the trip for me were walking through the New Forest; cream tea in the village of Abbotsbury in Dorset, which seems unspoiled by time; the relaxing lunch in Cadgwith cove and the brief but enjoyable stop in Padstow. St Ives was a tacky, commercial dive compared with smaller charming Padstow. We had a couple of days in St Austell to visit The Lost Gardens of Heligan, the Eden Project and picturesque Mevagissey which our friend G from Los Angeles had trouble pronouncing. The architecture and construction of the domes at the Eden Project were fascinating but the exhibits and plant life inside were quite dull. I'm quite stuffed with clotted cream now. I'm intollerant of dairy products but can get by if I use Lactaid. Honestly, it was clotted cream with scones, clotted cream icecream, clotted cream fudge... The Husband thought it was only a matter of time before we found a dessert that was basically just deep fried clotted cream! It's a relief to be back to my regular diet. Travelling is quite hard on my digestion.

Mostly, I just needed time away from my cares to enjoy with The Husband. I return having experienced the bliss of three consecutive nights sleeping for 8 hours each night. Having a lovely husband to cuddle to sleep each night really helped and toward the end of the holiday we were both missing our nest at home. We draw so much comfort from being in our own space and you can tell that it's a good time to end the holiday when you're missing home.


Must do more small breaks in future.

Passing Episode

The past few months have been quite horrible. I'm coming out of a rather protracted period of depression. Work was very stressful as 9 months of project work culminated in version 1 release; lots of weekend work. Time was running short for me to finish my master's thesis but I got it to first draft in time. It all drew together pretty much at the same time and ended with a bang.

The bang being my first proper holiday in almost a year. A week of very little responsibility walking in beautiful forests, along country lanes and visiting quaint, out of the way Cornish fishing villages to eat gorgeous food.

Regular programming shall resume shortly. :-)

Obsession

A lot of my friends and I have iPhone 3Gs. We share tips and game recommendations and try not too be too snobbish about those in the clan who have yet to get one. Just over a month ago, my friend A recommended Flight Control which is truly excellent. It held the #1 downloaded app spot on the Apple App Store charts for ages; a well deserved accolade. The game simulates being a flight controller where one must give aircraft landing instructions and the game ends when two aircraft collide. There is a large runway for the larger and faster aircraft, a small runway for the smaller and slower planes and a heliport. Aircraft periodically appear from the edge of the screen, then one touches them and traces a path with a finger on the screen to give them safe landing instructions.

When A introduced us to the game he also issued a challenge of "52 is the score to beat." That's 52 planes landed. The game is really addictive and I enjoyed playing it - perhaps a little too much. The iPhone is a great game platform in addition to being a phone and music player. It's natural to carry it with you everywhere and many of the games are something one can enjoy playing for 5 or 10 minutes during a break. It's much more natural to carry everywhere than carrying a Sony PSP or Nintendo DS in addition to one's phone.

When I eventually get a high score to beat A's, he replied with a smug "oh, I've got 82 now." *grr* That's when I started to feel really competitive. Over the last 2 weeks I've grown comfortable with the rhythm of the game. The waves of new aircraft arriving only get more intense until it levels out at around 80. Thereafter the pace stays at the same level and one need only keep to a tried and trusty strategy. About 3 weeks ago I managed to get a high score of 108. I mentioned it to A but he was silent; no response at all. :-) Over the last week my games have gotten longer and longer with high scores going from 255 to 347 to 525 to 744 and as of today 1466. Thank heavens it's easy to take screenshots on the phone so that I can prove my high scores to the unbelievers - all of whom are sceptical of scores over 100. When I announced my high score in the 700s, A finally conceded defeat.


It's a particularly masculine pleasure to vanquish a challenger; claiming some territory and basking in the glow of admiration for being top dog for a while. Victory is very sweet, even in an inconsequential competition like this. Yet when I reflect on my behaviour and feelings I wonder if I feel in some way small and need to prove myself? To assert some sense of masculine pride in battle. That logically implies that I feel inadequate and competition is an outlet for addressing this. Hmm..

On the upside, I've tired of the competitive element of the game and find the intense concentration of the game very soothing. I become completely immersed in the present and find myself in a meditative concentration state. Very soothing indeed. I'd probably get more benefit from actually meditating though.

Mon Milieu

I live in an old and green part of the city. It's convenient to get to work, there's shops nearby and several large parks and leafy roads. A few years ago the council made a point of peppering the borough with daffodils which make springtime that little bit more special. And this spring is already quite marvellous.

We enjoy a spacious apartment which The Husband and I bought about seven years ago. We walked into the main living area when it was still a building site and decided this was where we would make our nest. Like any place it has it's pros and cons but we find living here mostly positive. I have moved house/city/country so many times in my life; the seven years we've lived here are the longest that I've ever lived in one place. The Husband jokes that just about two years into living somewhere I'd start to get itchy feet. This is where I have put down roots after the longest time in exile.

I've been cycling to and from work more than I've been riding my motorcycle. I really don't like doing cardio exercises at the gym and this gives me the cardio exercise I need for my free weight sessions to be that much more meaningful. Not to mention the belly fat is melting away as the days go by. The Husband's comments are quite positive. I must endure more and more frequent inspections from my handsome fur inspector. He's been quite diligent in the persuit of his duties. :-> Today I cycled to work (6 miles), cycled to the gym (5 miles), nice heavy leg workout such that my legs were trembling as I changed after the workout, and finally cycled home (a final 3 miles).

When I got home I was fiercely hungry and was really in the mood to eat a hamburger. Our local pub makes the best hamburgers in London and tonight the chef was in top form. The tastiest bacon and egg hamburger with chips that I've had there in a long time. A glass of a South African shiraz to chase it down - pure deliciousness. About 1250 calories for the meal which blew the calorie budget completely out of the water but heck, I wanted it, I exercised hard and it was easily a third to a half protein which is a good proportion. It wasn't the most civilised meal since it was late when we got to the pub. We ordered our food and drink and had a bit of a chat with the staff as we always do. They recognise us as local and we've known the rhythms of the place for quite some time, which is nice. It's one of those small features of fitting in that is still novel to me.

When the food arrived, it was carnage. A hamburger is finger food after all but I attacked it like a pride of lions feasting on a freshly killed antelope. Carnage. Most satisfying to know one's desires and to have the means to satisfy them. The burger was cooked to medium perfection and delicately spiced. The texture of the ground meat was slightly firm but easily chewed. I seldom appreciate beef in any form other than ground or minced, something about the texture of unground beef has put me off since I was a very young child. The chips weren't too oily and he potato inside the deep fried chip was light and fluffy, almost as if it had turned into mash inside the chip during the cooking process. The bacon and egg were reasonably strong flavours but as I got into the burger my body went into calorie absorption mode and while I didn't rush the meal to the point of rudeness, it did go down faster than my usual leisurely pace.

I'm learning to recognise my desire, to feel it, to express it and be at home with this emotion that I have suppressed for a very long time. It's not just about sexual desire. It's about all desire and it's one more way in which I'm making more contact with the world. Tonight was about food.

May you all have food as delicious as this. May your desires be as sensuous and quickly fulfilled. Good night sweet world.

Interlude with The Husband

Me: "How often do sexy hairy muscled men throw themselves at you?"
TH: "Not often enough!"
Me: "Oh, I expected to hear that it was every day."
TH: "Exactly. Not often enough! :-)"

Banks

"I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale."

- Thomas Jefferson